So, what is this no preference thing? Can we live in this goal driven world filled with demands without preference? How can you make a decision or even get things done with no preferences? The concept of no preference does not mean to do nothing; it actually requires us to be more in tune with our own thoughts and emotions, to be more aware of the presence.

We have to make many decisions in our life daily, obviously we have preference; making a left or a right turn can get you to the right place or away from it. The preference we talk about are the emotional ones; the ones that shape our beliefs and our character – it’s our absolute. It’s the way things should be or life should be. Since we are individuals with different backgrounds, we have different belief systems. So which one is the right system

That’s when we get into trouble because we prefer our own system of beliefs or thinking. And when our system becomes the absolute system, the rest of the world is wrong. It’s ego. Let go and step back. The world does not have to be wrong for you to be right. Shakespeare once wrote, “There’s no right or wrong, but thinking makes it so.”Now what does this have to do with photography? Well, are you a human being? Then there are situations we have no control of. I can give you a few from my own wedding experience. Here’s a partial list:

1. It rains on the wedding day.
2. The sun is blasting on the wedding day.
3. The priest comes over and curses you out right before the ceremony.
4. The eager friends of the bride and groom push you aside or get right in front of you just as the bride is coming down the isle.
5. The caterer refuses to serve you water or food at the reception after you have already been working for 8 hours.
6. Your car broke down on the highway.
7. You have a tooth ache the size of Manhattan on the wedding day.
8. The bride is late for two hours because the hair dresser is trying to fix one strand of hair from her forehead.

You get the idea. Things happen outside of our control and challenge our belief system. On a wedding day when I am photographing one of the most important days of a bride and a groom’s life I try to use the concept of no preference for things outside of my control. For me there is no absolute how someone should act towards me or how the weather should be. My only absolute is that I am entrusted with the mission to document one of the most important days of two people’s life and I will do that with no preference to what’s outside of my control.

It has helped me relaxed and keeps me focus on my most important goal of the day without aggravation. Our expectation of how people, things, or situations should be stops us from seeing things the way they are, and we miss the opportunity of capturing the most natural and candid moment. Photographing children are the best training for our ego. If we try to control the situation and force our will on children, the photos will come out unnatural. Only when we let go of our ego and let things flow then the images come out beautifully.

By practicing the no preference attitude, I am also getting a better sleep at night in the increasingly loud neighborhood of Lower East Side.

I am only human and I lose my cool once in a while, but it’s easy for me to forgive myself. I just use the no preference technique to forgive myself. Right, I wish it is that easy, but if we do not expect people or things to fit our rules we will be more relaxed and able to capture images naturally.

-the Storyteller