I have always been a private person and believed that my work will speak for itself. That has worked quite well for me until the advent of reality shows.

First I had a website, then I need a blog to keep my website going and now I need to be in Facebook and learn how to Twitter. If that’s not enough, then I’ll need to let the world know what I am doing every second on these social networks. It’s getting out of hand.

I am wondering out loud, is that the norm for our life now? What do you do? Do you leave your computer on 24/7 connecting to the World Wide Web and have your fingers stay on the keyboard?  Do you share every private details of your life with the world? Is there no longer a line between private and public anymore? Is the Brave New World really here?

I believe it is for better or for worse – thanks to Jerry Springer and the media we are now all expected to hang our private laundry out in public. Anything less is totally anti-cool and undemocratic. Well, maybe I am exaggerating a bit here, but you get my drift.

To honor this new found freedom and joining the bandwagon I would like to share with you a piece of my sh*t, I mean journal, a bit of my private thought. Don’t worry Jerry Springer, there’s a long way before I catch up with you.

Here’s the piece from my private journal:

One thing I hate most is to blame other people for my own failure even if that person caused it. It’s like blaming a cold for making you sick. It’s unreasonable and a waste of time.

Sure, the person who might have caused you pain is not going to be getting rid of easily from your thoughts nor will a cold disappear the moment you get it. The effect will be around for a while to cause you discomfort and pain.

But what use is it to blame them? Learn from the experience and be a better and healthier person so it would be harder for others to take advantage of you or a cold to get hold of you next time.

It’s a total waste of time to blame. If you are in the habit of blaming others all the time for things happened in your life, it’s probably a good time to look within and change the way you do things or live.

We have no one else to blame but ourselves for our experiences; even when it’s someone else’s fault, we should always focus on the solution and not the problem.

I have heard from some photographers over and over again, complaining about the effectiveness of one camera or another, but it’s always the same thing over and over. Obviously, they are just complaining for the sake of it – they haven’t done anything about their unhappiness. They are and probably will be always focusing on the same problem. Dude, focus on the solution then the problem will go away – simple as that.

Stop blaming people or thing for your misery. It’s you! You are the problem and solution.

Sorry if you were expecting something more private or saucier, but at least you get to know the private me a bit better. Don’t worry if my work is not up to par, I am to blame and not you.

Here, I would like to share a photo from my recent trip to Hainan, China where I was born.

This is a photograph of Mrs. Zhao (my childhood neighbor) and her granddaughter. She’s in her seventies. She has the agility of a young girl and can climb a tree like no one else can. The sweetsop or sugar-apple she grows is the best fruit I tasted anywhere in the world. Of course, I might be bias to the soil which gave me life. The rest of the photos from my trip to Italy and China will be posted shortly.

So, what is this no preference thing? Can we live in this goal driven world filled with demands without preference? How can you make a decision or even get things done with no preferences? The concept of no preference does not mean to do nothing; it actually requires us to be more in tune with our own thoughts and emotions, to be more aware of the presence.

We have to make many decisions in our life daily, obviously we have preference; making a left or a right turn can get you to the right place or away from it. The preference we talk about are the emotional ones; the ones that shape our beliefs and our character – it’s our absolute. It’s the way things should be or life should be. Since we are individuals with different backgrounds, we have different belief systems. So which one is the right system

That’s when we get into trouble because we prefer our own system of beliefs or thinking. And when our system becomes the absolute system, the rest of the world is wrong. It’s ego. Let go and step back. The world does not have to be wrong for you to be right. Shakespeare once wrote, “There’s no right or wrong, but thinking makes it so.”Now what does this have to do with photography? Well, are you a human being? Then there are situations we have no control of. I can give you a few from my own wedding experience. Here’s a partial list:

1. It rains on the wedding day.
2. The sun is blasting on the wedding day.
3. The priest comes over and curses you out right before the ceremony.
4. The eager friends of the bride and groom push you aside or get right in front of you just as the bride is coming down the isle.
5. The caterer refuses to serve you water or food at the reception after you have already been working for 8 hours.
6. Your car broke down on the highway.
7. You have a tooth ache the size of Manhattan on the wedding day.
8. The bride is late for two hours because the hair dresser is trying to fix one strand of hair from her forehead.

You get the idea. Things happen outside of our control and challenge our belief system. On a wedding day when I am photographing one of the most important days of a bride and a groom’s life I try to use the concept of no preference for things outside of my control. For me there is no absolute how someone should act towards me or how the weather should be. My only absolute is that I am entrusted with the mission to document one of the most important days of two people’s life and I will do that with no preference to what’s outside of my control.

It has helped me relaxed and keeps me focus on my most important goal of the day without aggravation. Our expectation of how people, things, or situations should be stops us from seeing things the way they are, and we miss the opportunity of capturing the most natural and candid moment. Photographing children are the best training for our ego. If we try to control the situation and force our will on children, the photos will come out unnatural. Only when we let go of our ego and let things flow then the images come out beautifully.

By practicing the no preference attitude, I am also getting a better sleep at night in the increasingly loud neighborhood of Lower East Side.

I am only human and I lose my cool once in a while, but it’s easy for me to forgive myself. I just use the no preference technique to forgive myself. Right, I wish it is that easy, but if we do not expect people or things to fit our rules we will be more relaxed and able to capture images naturally.

-theStoryteller

The Chinese year 4706 begins on Thursday, February 7, 2008. This year children will not only get “lucky money” in red envelopes, they will also get a fresh new children’s animated program based on Chinese-American culture. “Ni hao, Kai-Lan” (“nihao” means hello in Mandarin) will premiere on Chinese New Year at 11 a.m. on Nick Jr.

Kai-Lan reminds me of another little girl…
“In an old house in Paris that was covered with vines lived twelve little girls in two straight lines. They left the house at half-past nine in two straight lines, in rain or shine. The smallest one was Madeline.”

Just as with Madeline; children will learn about a new culture, a second language, and valuable skills they can use in every day life.

Celebrate the Year of the Rat with friends, family and Kai-Lan tomorrow!

Zai jian, au revoir, goodbye for now!

Willi have received numerous emails and phone calls when WilliWongPortraits.com went live. Thank you for all of your support and feed-backs.

Some of you have asked if it is possible to turn the music off and enjoy the photographs in silence. Yes, it can be easily done. After all, a picture is worth a thousand words.

To turn off the music: Click on the “Record” (see picture below)

It has been almost 2 months since his last blog. What’s keeping Willi from blogging?

On the top of the list is his new Modern Lifestyle Weddings website. Willi has heard and will finally take action. Hopefully, by the end of this month the updated website will go live.

Willi is also busy with the launch of his new albums. He’s sure working hard to get the beautiful samples ready to show you.

And last but not least are the weddings and portrait sessions. All this happening over the holiday season may be a little overwhelming, especially with Chinese New Year just a few days away, but he has promised to do his best be on schedule.

The wisest thing he did was delegating theBlog duties to me. Let me now briefly introduce myself: My name is Yim and this is my third season as Willi’s assistant. I’m sure you’ll get to know me more with each new Blog post.

The content of theBlog is still to be determined, but it will be photography related and connected with WilliWongPortraits.com and WilliWongPhotography.com. Since this is a pro bono service, I made sure that I have full editorial privileges and will do my best to keep theBlog updated on a regular basis.

Please free feel to contribute to theBlog and help me expand the services and viewer ship of theBlog.

Regards,

Yim, theAssistant